I’m So Sorry

Parish Diary

Fr. Peter J. Daly

March 20, 2001

Some adults have no idea how much they hurt children. Occasionally it is the child who behaves more maturely than the adult.

This past winter, when 75 of our teenagers went on retreat in preparation for Confirmation, I visited with them for a few hours the first day of the retreat. I got window on how wounded some of them are. Wounded by the behavior of adults who should know better, especially their parents.

At the beginning of the retreat, several teens gave witness talks around the theme “Actions Have Consequences, Good and Bad.”

One boy reduced the chatty crowd to silence and eventually to tears. He told us the story of his natural father’s drinking and abandonment of the family.

The young man’s talk ended with a poem he had written entitled, “I’m So Sorry.” The poem is a fantasy; what he wishes his father would say to his children, if his dad ever came to his senses and realized how his drinking and absence hurt his two boys who once loved him.

Sometimes it is best if the adults and let young people speak for themselves, so with his permission I am reprinting Jamie Elliot’s poem here. I hope it might move some adult to go back his or her children. As the Lord says, “Let he who has ears, hear.”

“I’m So Sorry”

The thoughts escape me,

I’d rather die.

Than look upon you,

And see you cry.

I’m so sorry.

The love is lost

Between us two.

I can’t imagine

What you’re going through.

I’m so sorry.

I cannot share my love.

I don’t know how.

But if I should,

The time is now.

I’m so sorry.

I can fell your pain.

I know it there.

Some hearts are full,

But your is bare.

I’m so sorry.

You don’t know how

This makes me feel.

This is a nightmare,

It can’t be real.

I’m so sorry.

I abandoned you

And left you here.

But coming back

Is what I fear.

I’m so sorry.

I see your discomfort,

Your pain and confusion.

My love to you

Is only an illusion.

I’m so sorry.

For the suffering I’ve caused you

And the pain you embrace,

I can’t find the courage

To look you in the face.

I’m so sorry.

I wish there were a way

I could turn bad memories to good.

But I can’t. It’s not possible.

Though I know I should.

I’m so sorry.

People can show their love

In thousands of ways

But for me, it would only take a

A small fraction of a day.

I’m so sorry.

If love was a sickness

Then I’d be immune

But everyone else

Would catch it soon

I’m so sorry.

I sold my soul to the devil

But he wanted a refund

I’d take back what I have done to you

But it has already been done.

I’m so sorry.

With every move I make

I break someone’s heart

I just pick the soul and rip it apart

I’m so sorry.

You have gone through enough

I can’t bear it any more

There is no love between us

I am closing the door.

I’m so sorry my child.

Maybe, in a spirit of repentance and reconciliation in preparation for Easter, some adults could find the courage to say the words the word that some children long to hear, “I’m so sorry.”